Whether you’re freshly single or a long term lonely heart our dating do’s & don’ts will help you land Mr. or Mrs. Right!

Dating can be a pretty tricky game, especially if you’re a little out of practice. So we’ve compiled our top 10 do’s and don’ts for 21st century dating.

So, you met a cool person who you’re about to go out with. Exciting? Totally. A little nerve-wracking? Of course. So, how do you deal with the anxiety that inevitably comes with first-date territory? As cliché as it sounds, being yourself is probably best first date advice. It’ll ensure that you not only have a good time on a first date, but also get a second date, too.

That said, there are a few fairly concrete do’s and don’ts to keep in mind when hanging out with someone totally new—just remember that it’s all about making a solid first impression to land a second date with someone you really like. Read on for first date advice that every girl should know.

DO’s:

1. DO Be On Time

Yeah, we know the whole “fashionably late” ideology still exists, but on a first date, you’ll make a better impression if you show up on time. Would you want them to show up late? Probably not.

2. DO Speak Up

Nobody likes a pushover, so if your date tells you he or she has planned an evening at a sushi restaurant and you don’t eat fish, or they want to hang at a cocktail lounge but you don’t drink, speak up. It’ll only look strange if you tell them all that after you’re already seated and waiting to order. Same goes for being decisive. If your date asks what you’d like to eat, drink, or share for dessert, don’t say “I don’t care, what do you want?” Wishy-washy can get real old, real fast.

3. DO Make Eye Contact

Make eye contact. Show you’re interested, the last thing your date wants is your eye wondering around the room, they’ll find it a real turn off. Not only does eye contact show you are interested in what your date has to say, but it also increases sexual chemistry between the two of you.

4. DO Put Your Phone Away

This is the big one, ladies: The act of obsessively checking your phone every two minutes could be a bona fide deal breaker. There’s nothing more rude than trying to have a conversation with a person who’s constantly stating at a screen. Checking Instagram can wait—and definitely don’t post any status updates, tweets about your date in real-time, or snap any candid pics when they’re not looking. That’s just weird.

5. DO be Positive

No matter how shitty of a day you had at work, or whether the restaurant you’re at has terrible service, or the movie you saw is total crap—try your best to stay positive when getting to know someone. It’ll alleviate any anxiety he’s having about whether he’s showing you a good time, and it’ll just make you more fun to be around, pure and simple.

6. DO Keep Conversation Light Hearted

No politics and religion, keep it light-hearted, funny and intriguing. If you haven’t laughed throughout your date then, move on, take the experience, learn for the next person you take on a date.

7. DO Ask Questions

A foolproof way to ensure that conversation will always be flowing is to simply ask questions. Keep them semi-general (work, family, hobbies, etc.) until you both feel comfortable enough to tackle the big stuff, like politics, religion, and, uh, exes.

8. DO Offer to Pay

A tactful way to do this is to simply reach for the check when it comes. If your date insists, offer to split the bill, or at least leave the tip. However, if you offer to pay or split, be prepared to actually pay or split.

9. DO Let Your Date Know You Want To See Them Again

Forget the whole treat them mean, keep them keen mantra… It was never a thing when people thought it was a thing. Let them know you would love to see them again and stay in contact and get in the lead up to date number two.

10. DO Give Your Date a Fair Chance

You don’t always get what you see when you swipe on the app, and in person they might just not be your type, but that could be a really great thing! Think about it, your usual type hasn’t been working for you right! So maybe it’s time for a change.

Dont’s:

1. DON’T Drink Too Much

There’s not much to say here without sounding like a preachy parent, but keep this in mind: Having to be carried home by someone you barely know isn’t fun (nor is slurring your words or crying at the dinner table). Sure, a cocktail or two can be fun and loosen the mood, but know your limits.

2. DON’T Keep Your Phone Out

OK, so we mentioned this in the ‘Do’s’… BUT, this is a real important point that needs revisiting. Don’t text, Dont update Facebook Status, Dont photograph your food or drink for your instagram, JUST PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY.

3. DON’T Obsess Over Your Appearance

Who wants to waste precious date time running to bathroom to brush your hair, reapply your lipstick, or check the mirror every half hour? Put as much effort into your appearance as you want before you meet your date, but focus your energy on making solid conversation instead of worrying about how you look. 

4. DON’T Wear Things That You Can’t Walk, Eat, Breathe, or Talk in

Obviously, you want to look your best, but a first date isn’t the time to take those new stilettos out for a road test, or wear that dress that’s a little too tight. Why? Because first dates are anxiety-filled enough and being uncomfortable in your clothes only makes it worse. Plus, won’t it suck to not be able to walk a few blocks on a nice night because your heels are too high?

5. DON’T Talk About Your Exe’s

You want to keep conversation fun! So keep away from ‘Subject Ex’, theres no greater turn ff than listening about someone chatting about their ex, it will just be either depressing or intimidating, or even both. The ‘Ex’ conversation will come up further down the line when you’re ready in your relationship to hear more about each others relationship past.

6. DON’T – NO!, Really, DON’T Talk About Your Ex

Getting into Hypothetical conversations such as “would you” or “can you believe” are totally transparent and shows your date your head is elsewhere. So DON’T ask your date hypothetical questions about what they would have done in your ex’s shoes.

7. DON’T Talk About Sex

Unless you both knowing are planning on having sex on the first date, which probably means you’re more after a ‘No Strings Hook-Up’ and not a date leading to a romantic relationship. But if your first date is for romantic reasons, leave the sex talk for further down the line, leave some things to the imagination and keep things exciting. It will make for a better second date.

8. DON’T Give Up Too Fast

Meeting a stranger for the first time can be a little awkward, a first date isn’t always going to go smooth right from the first second of meeting. A slow burner first date, doesn’t mean a second date is a bad idea, we don’t live in the movies, life isn’t Julia Roberts Rom-Com Hollywood movie. Sometimes sexual chemistry takes a while.   

9. DON’T Stalk After the Date

If you had a wonderful time and feel like shooting your date a casual text later that night or the next day, go for it. Just maybe don’t stalk and accidentally like their Instagram photos—or worse, their ex’s Instagram photos.

10. DON’T Friend Request on Social Media After First Date

This is only going to come across as needy and obsessive, so hold off on adding your date as a friend on social media until you’ve had at least three dates and you actually feel you’re going from just dating to a relationship. You really don’t want to come across as an overly keen stalker type.