Entertainment Swindon

Halloween has ended, we are just a few days from Fireworks Night… So here at Entertainment Swindon, we’ve come up with our Top Ten Christmas Movies for adults.

Yes it’s supposed to be the most wonderful time of year, but with having to put up with good, clean, family fun, kid friendly reruns, we adults just need our dose of violence, dark humour and plenty of political incorrectness. So here it is!

Die Hard/Die Hard 2:

Yes! Die Hard is a ‘Christmas Movie!’, set during Christmas Eve of 1988 where John McClaine travels to Los Angeles to reconcile with his estranged wife. Since the movie is set during Christmas time, and John is on a Christmas Vacation, of course it’s a Christmas movie.

The movie has many references to Christmas, such as ‘now I have a machine gun ho ho ho’, how much more Christmas do you want from a movie? So we have placed Die Hard (along with Die Hard 2 by default) as our ultimate Christmas movie for adults.

Bad Santa/Bad Santa 2:

You cant get much badder than Billy Bob Thornton as Santa, an alcholic, racist, misogynistic drunk conman. This glorious highly offensive black comedy, so if you are easily offended, this movie is definitly for you!

This has to be the most funniest Christmas movie ever made, and the sequel is almost as offensive and funny. Bad Santa is definitely not for kids! We painfully put this movie in at number two, as really it deserves the number one spot, but Die Hard, can never be number two.

Love Actually:

Right! We are going to get all soppy and romantic on you now… Love Actually, rated 15 boasts an all star cast with Hugh Grant, Bill Nighy, Liam Neeson and Emma Thompson to name just a few. Rated 15, it borders on the line of is this a movie for adults, or can kids watch too, there are parts that maybe for younger kids, it might not be for them, but the fun, light heartedness of the movie.

However there is a bit of nudity, mostly boobs within a porn film set, and implied small orgy when one of the characters heads off to find love in America. So we have put this in the list for top Christmas films for adults.

Trading Places:

We head bak to the 1980s for this classic Eddie Murphy dark comedy… Murphy’s character is a down and out bum on the street that ends up part of a social experiment bet between two rich hedge fund company owners Mortimer and Mortimer.

This movie has the full recipe for an adult Christmas movie, it has sex, nudity, drugs, corporate back stabbing, a hooker and of course a gay gorilla! It’s Eddie Murphy at his best!

Violent Night:

This violent home invasion film set gloriously over the top bloody and violent scenes and festive carnage! Using fairy lights as a garrotte, and a candy cane are just a couple of the many festive ways we see people killed.

The only hope for the family at the centre of the home invasion is Santa Claus, but he’s not the jolly old Santa we see every year in the Coca Cola adverts, he’s a drunken old disillusioned angry Santa who has had enough of years of the commercialism of Christmas, ready to hang his hat, making this his last Christmas.

So when a team of mercenaries invade the family home at the very time Santa is delivering presents, it leads to an insane fight between the home invaders and Santa who’s ready to give anyone a goo ‘Seasons Beatings!’.

This movie is a festive delight of violence at the hands of Santa! 

Fatman:

Parents need to know that Fatman is an action/fantasy movie that imagines Santa Claus as a grumpy, drinking, gun-toting tough guy played by Mel Gibson.

There’s lots of violence, including guns and shooting, characters getting killed, blood spurts and bloody trails, fighting, stabbing, arm-breaking, etc. Not Gibsons best movie, but well worth a watch for the violence.

Gremlins:

With its Christmas lights and dusting of snow, Kingston Falls is an idyllic small town, that is until the gremlins take over!
A father returns from Chinatown with an unusual pet, a Mogwai, a gift for his son. The rules are simple: Keep your Mogwai away from water, bright lights and, most importantly, never, never feed him after midnight. But the rules are inadvertently broken, and the consequences multiply at an alarming rate, and with this, horror comes to town with mischievous and murderous Gremlins ready to turn Christmas into one the residents of Kingston Falls would want to forget ever happened, that the ones who survive anyway!

Lethal Weapon:

It’s set at Christmas!!!… So it’s a Christmas film, and we are sticking to our guns. Lethal Weapon is one of the best films in this list, but we do accept we are stretching it as a Christmas Movie, but we had to put this movie in the list.

One of the eighties’ other most influential action movies, Lethal Weapon, which came a year before Die Hard in 1987, is itself one heck of a good Christmas movie.

The concept of Christmas is not central to Lethal Weapon, as it is in Die Hard, but as we have already said, we are sticking to our Beretta 92F that this is a Christmas Movie!

National Lampoons Christmas Vacation:

This time the Griswolds are vacationing at home!… If you’ve never seen a National Lampoons ‘Vacation’ movie, then get ready for a belly ache of laughs! Clark, the head of the family is the closest the US has to our Frank Spencer, nothing goes right ever lol. It’s a classic old Christmas movie that should be higher up the list, but there are too many movies in this list that deserve to be at the top of this list.

It’s Christmas time and the Griswolds are preparing for a family seasonal celebration, but things never run smoothly for Clark, his wife Ellen and their two kids. Clark’s continual bad luck is worsened by his obnoxious family guests, but he manages to keep going knowing that his Christmas bonus is due soon.

Krampus:

When his dysfunctional family clashes over the holidays, young Max (Emjay Anthony) gets disillusioned and turns his back on Christmas, which unleashes the wrath of Krampus: a demonic force of ancient evil intent on punishing non-believers.

All hell breaks loose as beloved holiday icons take on a monstrous life of their own, laying siege to the fractured family’s home and forcing them to fight for one another if they hope to survive.

It’s not the gory film you would expect a horror to be, theres not really any violence, but its not really a kids Christmas film either. Still worth watching though and making it into our Christmas Movies For Adults.