Entertainment Swindon

A crap gender-swap attempt of the classic Bruce Willis action movie Die Hard!

If you’ve not watched Cleaner yet, then let me save you losing nearly two hours of your life… Filmed like a 90s ITV Drama, this attempt to I can only imagine was to copy Die Hard, which should never be something to enter the mind of anyone, especially someone in the Film Industry!

This film is exactly the reason I just don’t watch British TV & Film, it just try’s and fails to copy Hollywood action movies every time!

Its a shame, if you look at the casting, you would think, this is going to be a great movie, an action movie starring Clive Owen from movies such as ‘Children of Men (2006)’, ‘The Bourne Identity (2002)’ and ‘Inside Man (2006)’, Lee Boardman, best known for playing Jez Quigley in Coronation Street and Daisy Ridley, best known for playing Rey in the sequel trilogy of the original Star Wars trilogy, and directed by Casino Royale director Martin Campbell.

Unfortunately, as per the usual result of British attempts in action movies, ‘Cleaner’ failed. If I had to give it a star rating, I just couldn’t! I would be insulting all those crap movies that received a One Star rating!

The movie set in London, follows Joanna ‘Joey’ Locke played by Ridley and her older autistic brother Michael, who as kids have grown up in a home with an abusive father. As an adult, Joey joins the British Army.

We find Joey at the beginning of the film as a skyscraper window cleaner in Canary Wharf. Terrorists led by Clive Owen take over the building and its left to Joey playing the role of John McClane, scurrying around the building picking off one terrorist at a time.

Canada One becomes Nakatomi Plaza, and it doesn’t stop there, the scene from Die Hard where Hans Gruber falls to his death, the crawling around air-ducts, explosives throughout the building and then theres the Van Dam Sudden Death copycat scenes, as it seems they ran out of Die Hard scenes to copy.

So do yourself a favour, just sit back and binge on the first three Die Hard movies and enjoy the fact I saved you nearly two hours of crap.